It's time for another very belated travelogue! This time from my Europe trip. Part one is Ireland!
November 7-November 8 2023
As I boarded my plane, it turned
out that my tiny suitcase was too fat for the overhead compartments so I had to check it in. One of the staff said “It
will be sent all the way on to Dubai.”
“Dubai?” I exclaimed. “I’m going to
Dublin!”
He quickly corrected himself as the
other guy laughed.
Once in my seat, I surfed through the movie selection and picked
out Elemental. It was my first time seeing it, and I have steadily fallen in love with that movie. I'm mad that my first view of it was on a tiny airplane screen. I hope it returns to theaters at some point.
In Toronto, I settled down to wait out my 4 hour layover.
This time there’s a different phone
issue. I switched providers after Peru because AT&T has abysmal customer
service. But when I contacted Verizon about their international plan. I
discovered a new problem. They said it would be $100 per month for an
international plan. On top of what I’d already paid for the month. But when I went to sign up for it, the bill was $170. Where did that additional 70$ come from? I was
pissed that it was almost twice what they told me. Plus I’d need to pay for 2
months, because I’ll be gone slightly over a month. My longest time away from
home yet. So I didn’t pay their fee. They said that if I use my phone while I'm out of the country, it will
automatically give me service for $10 a day. I was still skeptical that it would actually work as they said, since they already lied to me about the price. But I left my cell data turned off until needed.
When I quit work to escape the
endless bullying, I tried to find people to travel with while I had free time, and a bit of money. My cousin invited me
over, so I rolled with that. Their
neighbors take care of rescued wildlife, so I planned to help there.
And thus began a whirlwind
preparation for a trip to Europe. Where did I want to go most in
Europe? Ireland, definitely. London and Paris would be great too. And
Switzerland is right between France and Italy, so that would be a convenient
stop – plus I’ve always wanted to see the Alps. As I thought of timing, I
realized that I’d better hit some of those places as soon as possible, before
snows start in. My final plan was to fly into Dublin and steadily make my
way toward Italy.
It ended up being a pretty
stressful week and a half as I tried to book hotels and planes and trains and
ferries and museum tickets. I was still
pretty nervous, considering I’d be going across most of Europe by myself,
and I don’t know any of the language in three of the countries.
I got maybe an hour
of sleep on the plane to Dublin, though I feel like that’s an optimistic estimate. It didn’t help that
my legs were getting really cramped from the limited foot room. The flight arrived at about 7 AM. It was cold, of course. I
have my nice big down jacket, which is great. Man, I love hearing the Irish
accent everywhere.
Many of the stops along the river
come with the name “Quay” - pronounced “key.” I have never been able to figure
out the pronunciations that go along with Irish spellings. I should really look into that.
I couldn't check into my hotel this early, but I could leave my bags. They didn’t have a map of
Dublin. They also
didn’t have a bathroom for people stuck waiting. Instead they pointed me to the
restaurant on the corner, called Wuff. I decided to sit down for a few minutes, so I
ordered porridge. It was something I’ve always heard about, but never actually
tried. My understanding was that it was like oatmeal. And it was. It
was tasty too! Mine came with honey and jelly.
My first plan for the day was to
head to the Dublin Zoo. It was within walking distance, so I didn’t have to
figure out any busses or trains.
Phoenix Park is huge. I didn’t realize
how huge at first, but at 1750 acres, it’s one of the largest enclosed urban
parks in Europe. I walked into the park skirting around the edge and looking for
the zoo. I admired the Irish wildlife – squirrels, doves, and magpies. Probably
pretty normal around here, but exciting and different to me! Even their crows are different, with cute gray vests. I saw the
top of a massive obelisk in the distance.
There was a little playground, and
then a pond. But I didn’t see any sign of the zoo. So I figured I’d finish going
around the park. I got to the corner and saw the obelisk. It was way bigger
than I realized, because it still looked huge and I wasn’t even that close to
it. It's 60 meters tall, and part of it is made from melted down cannons.
As I walked along, I was startled
to find myself back at the same playground. I’d gone in a circle. Still no sign
of the zoo. So I doubled back and went outside the playground. I didn’t see anything. Wondering if I could have possibly
missed it, I doubled back again. Nope. I turned around again (I’d since passed
that playground five times, from both sides). There was a guy who I asked
and he pointed up the road. So I continued going. And going. Yeah, the park was
a lot bigger than expected-1752 acres, it turns out. And I still didn’t see the zoo. I spotted a guy in
a yellow vest. He looked official, so I asked him. He pointed across the
street. No wonder. The google map I’d printed didn’t even show the street. It
showed the zoo as being right next to that freaking park I’d been walking
circles around all morning. I should know better than to trust Google Maps. So I finally reached the Dublin Zoo.

I got my ticket and headed in. Founded
in 1831, it’s close to 100 years older than the zoo I worked at.
They had Asian lions! I’d never
seen them before. They were sleeping, as cats
love to do. Most people only think of lions in Africa, but they once
lived in some of Europe and Asia too. Now all of the European lions are gone,
and only 500 Asian lions are left wild, in India.
An orangutan was making a nest for
herself, bundling a pile of Excelsior (a bedding that looks like straw) over
herself until she looked like a haystack with a face peeking out the bottom.
At the wolf yard, there was a sign
about the wolves that once lived in Ireland. When the English took over, they lead
to the complete destruction of Ireland’s forests, aside from a tiny corner of
the island. They also made sure every wolf in the country was exterminated by
the end of the 1700’s. One of my favorite movies, Wolfwalkers, is about this.
The Indian elephants were in a big pack together, horsing around.
Occasionally one would stop and roll around, huge legs flying in the air. They
would trumpet and make funny squealing sounds.
After the zoo, I ordered bangers and mash for dinner: sausages
and mashed potatoes. The potatoes were amazing, though mashed potatoes are one
of my favorite foods.
Finally on to check into my room
and rest. I was exhausted.
November 9 2023
I woke up before 1 AM. Stupid jet
lag. That wouldn’t be enough sleep to get me comfortably through two days in a
row. I lay there for a bit, then got up and read for half an hour. Then I tried
to go back to sleep. At about 3, I finally succeeded.
My alarm woke me up at 5:30, which
was when I hoped to get up for the first part of this trip. Especially since
I’ll be passing into a different time zone in a few days. But I didn’t have any
appointment until 10 AM, so I trusted myself to wake up again soon and turned
off my alarm. When I finally woke, I glanced at
the clock and launched out of bed. It was 9:25! I’d slept another six hours.
I shot downstairs, asking how to get to Trinity College. They gave me directions
and I hurried to the bus stop. There was no way I could get there by 10:00. I
thought I knew the bus fare, and I had some money in my hand. But when I
boarded the bus, it was a different fare. I dug into my purse, into the pocket
where I’d put change. I couldn’t find it.
It must have slipped into the rest of my over-crowded bag. With increasing
franticness, I dug around for the bus fare. The driver wanted to pull out, so
he told me to just drop in the change I had. I did, though it was only about
half the fare. “You’re grand,” he said, handing me a ticket. I finally found
one of the right coins, but he waved me away, repeating “you’re grand.”
So yeah. Stressful morning. But the bus driver was really nice. I didn't get anyone else like that during the rest of the trip's public transit. Quite the reverse, in some cases.
We got to our stop and I hurried through Trinity College campus.
I got there 17 minutes late. I pulled out my ticket, and the guy told me
I’d have to buy a new one for the next time slot. “My phone’s not connected to the
internet,” I explained. So he took my ticket and scanned me in. He also told me
there was free wifi on campus. So, I got another mercy.
Relieved, I walked in to see the
Book of Kells. I wanted to wind down after the hectic morning, so
I connected to the campus wifi and downloaded the audio guide. I listened to the whole
thing, and by the time I made my way to the end of the first room, I had calmed
down. The first part of the exhibit talks about the history of the book and how
it was made, and other books like it.
Pigments were mostly made from local
materials, and they remain vibrant to this day. Crushed oak apples were one ingredient, as featured in The Secret of Kells. They also used plants, stones, and lichen. And less appealing ingredients were arsenic sulfide and lead.
Monks would write notes to each
other in the margins of the manuscripts. Things like, "I’m tired of this." "It’s cold in here." "I wish this was
finished." These were probably younger monks, in their teens.
Beyond is a darkened room with a
large case. The Book of Kells lay opened inside. They change the pages so
you’ll see something different with each visit.
The book was created around the
year 800. Book of Kells is a beautifully illustrated version of the gospels of the four
evangelists. It was probably started on Iona, but Iona was burned in 802. The book
was brought to Kells, where it was finished. But in 806, Vikings attacked Kells
too, killing many of the monks. The Chi Rho page is the most famous part of the book. The details are so tiny and intricate that they don't know to this day how the artists managed it. At the end of The Secret of Kells, actually animate the Chi Rho page. hat a brilliant idea.
Next I
headed up to the old library. It dates back to the early 1700’s. Many of the shelves are empty
as they do a once-in-a-lifetime restoration project. Dust and other stuff was
causing a problem for the books, and the library needed updates to fire
protection and control over humidity and such.
(only those front two shelves have anything on them)
Statues of famous people lined the main hall, such as Socrates,
Plato and Aristotle. At the far end a massive globe slowly revolved overhead.
In a display was the oldest Irish harp. Beautiful carvings decorate its sides. In the audio tour, they had a recording of someone playing it. It’s not at all what you would expect a harp to
sound like.
I browsed the gift shop, and heard
familiar music playing on the speakers. It was the soundtrack for Secret of
Kells. And indeed, in the book section they had a couple books about the movie,
as well as the film itself. I love that movie! If you can't tell from the repeated references. It’s a fantasy version of the
creation of the Book of Kells. And yep, there are Vikings in it.
I walked through a little more of the campus, only realizing later that I missed some cool looking stuff. But I thought I had plans for the rest of the day.
One alumni of Trinity College that you've probably heard of is Bram Stoker. Sound familiar? He wrote the book Dracula. If you've only seen movies, the book is worth reading too! Another alumni is Jonathan Swift, who wrote Gulliver's Travels.
Then I went to look for the Dublin
museums.
It’s weird crossing streets,
because in Ireland, the cars drive on the other side of the road. I always look
both ways before crossing, which is good because the cars keep coming from
places I don’t expect.
I stopped in the House of
Names. They have family information, including my family name. Though I've recently learned that we're not nearly as Irish as I was lead to believe. Our name is spelled a little different than the original. The official pronunciation is a little different too. But people who read my last name say something different again.
I got to the street where the
museums are, and found the entire road closed off. I asked one of the guards how to get to
the museum. It’s closed. I didn’t see anything about that! So, no museums for me. Curses. I wanted to see the
Tara brooch. Dad’s talked about it many times.
I headed to the next stop: St.
Patrick’s Cathedral. Or at least I thought I did. I missed a turn and went down
a couple blocks in the wrong direction. I grabbed a boba though.
My stomach was starting to act up –
I guess I ate something. Even though I’d just gone to the bathroom a few
minutes before. Maybe I’ll blame the airplane food. Though it could have been
the sausages.
I walked
back in the right direction, and made it to the Cathedral. I grabbed an audio tour and started
walking around. I didn’t have long though – tour busses come every half hour and
I wanted to catch the next one. I only got through part of the cathedral tour,
listening as I walked around.
St. Patrick first came to Ireland
as a slave, captured by Irish raiders. He escaped and got home. Then returned to Ireland after training as
a priest, and worked to spread Christianity. No one really knows what St. Patrick looked like, so you’ll
see a variety of images of him. Unlike many people who were supposed to convert others to Christianity, St. Patrick worked peacefully. He combined the two
religions to make it smoother.
I dashed out to see if I was in time to catch the
bus. I was. I sat on the upper level, front
corner. The lady driving gave a commentary on the sites as we drove past the
Guinness factory, and eventually across the river and on to Phoenix park and
the giant obelisk. But then she stopped talking, and a recording was playing
instead. Not as informative. The bus tour was not the best use of my limited time in Dublin.
Back at the room, I ironed out
transportation details for the next couple days (which was lucky – I found some
potentially large snags). And then went to
bed.
I couldn’t sleep. Not for hours.
Hell! With growing frustration. I lay there most of the night. Six hours later,
I finally fell asleep.
November 10 2023
Two hours later, my 5:15 alarm
fired up. Bleary and tired, I got ready to go. This time I had plenty of time,
even though the tour left at 6:50. I went out into the dark, freezing morning
and waited for the bus. It was supposed to come every ten minutes. I was
getting pretty nervous when over twenty minutes passed. I was just about to
flag down a taxi when the bus finally arrived. This time I had the proper
change ready. I wanted to confirm the name of the stop, and hit a blank. I
tried to pronounce D’Oiler and realized that I was butchering it even more. He
corrected me, pronouncing it “daleer.” So once again I stood on the bus,
embarrassed.
I was lucky. The bus was packed,
and at the next stop, they couldn’t even fit in the two people waiting there.
One of the guys smacked the bus door in anger when we left him.
Back near Trinity College, I
disembarked. The tours met at the
Molly Malone statue (a song I’d heard three times on the bus last night). I was
kind of beyond tired at this point. All my attempts to prepare for jet lag had
derailed, probably because I slept in so late yesterday.
Our tour guide and bus driver was named Jonathan. At
first we drove in silence. The sun didn’t come up until about
7:30. Jonathan said we could take a nap if we wanted, and that he’d take one
too. One of the others joined in the crack, saying we’d take turns driving.
It turns out that Jonathan has been
in a number of movies and shows. He was a riding double in a Vikings TV show, as well as Braveheart. I asked if he missed
working with horses. He didn’t. I suppose he had them in excess, while I’ve
never really had enough of horses.
After we drove for a while, we
stopped at what Jonathan called “A beautiful petrol station.” There was a
little café inside, where we got breakfast. I got a teriyaki chicken salad. I
hadn’t eaten anything fresh since I left, and was craving green food. I grabbed
a little tangerine too. Back on the bus I ate the salad. It
tasted so good to me after the potatoes and fried food.
Jonathan started telling us
information over the speaker. For example, about festivals. Did you know
Halloween was originally Irish? It was called Samhain (pronounced like
“saw-wain). They didn’t carve pumpkins, but instead used turnips. They did
dress up though. That way when the dead rise up on that night, they don’t
recognize anyone.
Our first destination was the Rock of Cashel. We stopped along the road to take some pictures with the
morning sun hitting it.
We parked at
the base of the limestone castle. The walls were covered in curtains of vines. Ferns, grasses, and small bushes sprouted between the stones.
I circled the cemetery, looking out
across the Irish countryside. White windmills dotted the distant hills. Lines
of autumn-colored trees ran across stretches of green grass. On the
other side was the town, with the morning sun lighting it up. The light
stretched out the shadows of the gravestones.
In the cemetery, there was a
beautifully carved cross. At least it used to be a cross. Now it’s more of a
pillar. Cromwell broke the top off it during his rampage of terror. He became
“Lord Protector” in 1653.
Oliver Cromwell is the most hated
man in Ireland. He’s the main villain in the film Wolfwalkers. In a matter of months, he massacred 20% of the Irish people.
And the Rock of Cashel is one of many places that he sacked and destroyed.
On the way to our next stop, I actually managed to nap for a
little bit on the bus. Which is something I’ve never done before. Just goes to
show how exhausted I was.
The reason I
chose this tour was Blarney Castle. My Grandma came here before I was
born and kissed the Blarney Stone. Doing so gives you the gift of gab. My dad talks about it often enough that I thought it was common knowledge. But many of the people I've mentioned it to have never heard of the Blarney Stone.
Blarney Castle is also coated in
ferns and mosses. And it’s a surprisingly tiny castle. It’s called a tower
house. They were a popular type of castle in Ireland, where most of a lord’s
household lived in one tower. They were about four or five stories tall, with a
couple rooms on each floor.
Blarney Castle was owned by the
McCarthys. They were the kings of Munster. Ireland used to be made of many
small kingdoms, which all fought each other.
Our group walked in and took the stone stairs up. Originally the
castle wouldn’t have been bare limestone, but instead covered with a sort of plaster. The tower would have been white, making
it very visible across the countryside. The front gate faces a cliff, so you can’t use battering rams.
Assuming you got through the barred gate, you’d then face murder holes: holes
in the ceiling where the castle defenders could pour boiling oil on invaders,
among other things. The battlements could be used to similar purpose. In fact,
the kitchen is high in the castle, so the hot oil was ready to pour down to
lower levels, if needed. The walls of the tower slightly
taper in at the top. Not only does that make the tower sturdier, but any
projectiles dropped from the top would bounce out and be more likely to hit
attackers. And spiral staircases mean that anyone right-handed
climbing up would have trouble wielding a sword while those facing
down could draw swords without impediment. (And you weren't allowed to be left-handed back then!)

Unbelievable assholes have carved
graffiti into the castle walls.
The bathroom was just a slit in the floor, positioned on the side of
the castle where wind would be less likely to blow stuff back up. It was called the
garderobe, which means wardrobe. Why? Because clothes were kept in the garderobe. The
ammonia from the “toilet” would fumigate the clothes. Give your thanks for
modern plumbing and washing machines.
Then there was the banquet hall,
for their nights of feasting and partying. They used lots of spices on the
meat, for preservation purpose. So they needed lots of drinks. You know, like
beer and whisky. Even kids got beer since there wasn’t much else to drink.
Finally I came out on top of the
castle, with a great view of the surrounding estate. There was a helpful sign,
reminding you to take of your hat and glasses, and to empty your pockets. So nothing
flies off the side of the castle as you go to kiss the stone.
The term “Blarney” comes from when
McCarthy was trying to deflect demands from Queen Elizabeth 1. It means
beguiling but misleading talk. And there are several stories about how the Blarney Stone is said to have gotten its power. Such as a fairy queen that kissed the rock where her dying lover was lying. Whatever its origin, this stone has drawn
many visitors. Winston Churchull, American presidents Reagan and Taft, dancers, singers, and actors.Plus plenty of tourists. In the busy season, the line for the Stone can be two hours
long. I joked that it was almost as bad as Disneyland. There were only a couple
other people up there with us today.
When it was my turn, I lay back on the mat and grabbed the railings across the
gap. There are poles beneath the Blarney Stone, so you won’t fall several
stories to the ground. You tilt your
head way back and kiss the large stone at the bottom of the battlement. It doesn’t look fancy – just
another stone in the tower. But I suppose now I have the gift of gab!
The stone is right beneath those two parallel black poles.
This is how they used to kiss the stone: By dangling you by your ankles from the outside of the battlement.
Yes, people sometimes fell.
I got a print of the photo of me kissing the stone. They’re not very
flattering photos. Just the bottom of your chin as you crane
your neck back for the kiss.
At the bottom of the castle, we
walked around some of the gardens. We went through the Carnivorous Courtyard,
full of beds and pots of pitcher plants.
I walked around the Irish garden,
which had native plants. And some lovely ferns. Many native Irish
plants are endangered.
I’d seen a sign for a fern garden.
I assumed it was the big patch of ferns along the base of the castle. It turns out I’d
missed the fern garden – the castle grounds were much larger than I realized –
over 60 acres. And the fern garden was deeper in the estate.
There are caves under the castle, and one was open. I went in, dodging
the big muddy puddles. It wasn’t a very long tunnel. The exit was just a narrow slit
that opened up through a curtain of leaves. When Cromwell attacked, the
McCartheys fled through the tunnel systems.
The dungeons were closed though.
The lesser horseshoe bat is living down there – a very endangered species.
I misjudged the time and left
earlier than I needed to. I could have spent twenty more minutes walking around
the castle. Shoot. I’ve ended up wasting quite a bit of the time I have in
Ireland. Ugh.
Back on the bus, to our last stop.
I napped a little more. The drive through the country was
cooler than on the highway. And we had a rainbow! Big, thick, and full. It
didn’t stay full, but it did stick around for a couple hours. That’s where you
find the Irish gold!
Jonathan told us about the bogs in Ireland, must of which have been destroyed. They used to cover about 10% of the country. Because of the lack of oxygen and the tannens from the plants, things that fell into the bogs have been remarkable well preserved. Like the Irish elk - an extinct species whose antlers could grow 12 feet across. They were around much of Europe, but they were preserved best in the bogs.
Bog oak is ancient wood that has been dug from the bogs. People will use it in art. Ancient people laid logs over the
bogs, as roads. The roads eventually were buried and disappeared. Some paths lead to
sacred sites where people had buried offerings. They would wrap butter in animal
skins and bury it to preserve it. 2,000 years later, some of the
butter was unearthed. Some people decided to try it with scones, and apparently it was still good.
As shown in Wolfwalkers, Ireland was once covered in forest. Over 90% of it, in fact. Strange, considering it's known as a land of green hills today. Only 1% of Ireland has forest now.
We learned some about the potato famine as well. It lasted 10 years, and the British tried to hide it from the rest of the world. They made excuses, saying that the Irish were being punished for being lazy.
But the English just didn’t want to lower the price of grain. In fact, Ireland was still growing food, aside from the potatoes that the people relied on for most of their meals. But the English took most of the food they did grow. The population of Ireland went from 8.5
million to 4 million. Only the middle class could afford to leave.
Our last stop was Cahir Castle
(it's pronounced more like “care castle”). Unlike the others, Cahir Castle is still in good
shape, and has been used in a number of movies and shows, including Excalibur. The great hall is still used for
events.
You can see a couple
cannonballs embedded in the castle walls. Cromwell brought cannons during his
invasion of Ireland. Castles had stood against former attacks – battering rams,
catapults, etc, but they weren’t a match for these new weapons. Not only were
the cannonballs powerful enough to crack the defenses, but those firing the
weapons were safely out of range of arrows and boiling water. When Cromwell
came to take Cahir Castle, he sent a letter saying that the inhabitants of the
castle had the chance to take their things and go, or face the cannon. The peopel in the castle left, knowing they didn’t stand a chance. The letter was freakishly polite, and
signed, “Your servant, Oliver Cromwell.” After this, he went on to conquer
Kilkenny, which gives you the movie Wolfwalkers.
(There's the cannonball, next to the window slit)
The rainbow was still there, though
only about half of it. Rising above the castle walls.
Back in the bus, Jonathan sang us a couple Irish songs.
He’s a good singer. One of them-the Rattlin’ Bog-was very catchy. I can still
hear it. Each verse builds on the one before it until you’re rattling out a
long train of lyrics.
I managed to nap a bit before we
hit the outskirts of Dublin. City sounds woke me. I wish I could have done more of
these tours. This was awesome. We drove across about a third of Ireland in a day!
Jonathan let us out just around the corner from
the Aran Sweater Market. I slipped in and tried a few things on. I found a blue
wool jacket. One sweater can take 60 days to make. There’s a variety of
patterns they form with their stitches, and they have special meanings. For
example, some represent a fisherman’s ropes, farm fields, or zig-zagging
pathways.
After I left my sweater to be
mailed home, I had one last stop: Tara Street. I hadn’t gotten to the Hill of
Tara, so at least I had to try this. It was underwhelming. There wasn’t even a
sign I could take a picture of. Half of the block was under construction, and
there wasn’t anything much on the rest of it. The most I saw was a
tiny shop sign, which I think said “Tara” in a stylized font. Ah well.
And then finally sleep. At least this
time I was tired enough to sleep at the right time.