Changing

My mom got this program (I thought it was a book on tape, but apparently it's just an audio program) called "The Neuroscience of Change," by Kelly McGonigal. It's not as daunting as the title makes it sound
I'm most of the way through it, and it's pretty fascinating so far.
What the program is about is how the brain reacts to and accepts changes. It talks about why it's so hard to make changes in your life (for example, eating less or quitting smoking). Even when you're fully committed to changing said behavior, it's so easy to forget, or to get distracted. She explains why this is and how to get around it. This is backed up by scientific studies about brain activity as well as things that some people would call "spiritual," such as meditation.
I thought I'd talk about some of the points that I found interesting (and that I think I can sufficiently explain). It's pretty fascinating, and I recommend listening to it. Especially if you have something you want to change in your life (like procrastination, keeping your temper, ex). There's no way I can explain everything here.

Say you're sitting in a room, and no one is around and you have nothing to do. Your mind will start exploring the past and the future, roaming all over the place. This is so even when you're trying to relax. This is the default state of our mind.
If you ever try to meditate (and you're not experienced with it already) this mental activity can be a big distraction. And you can learn to slow your mind down and experience the moment. That's what meditation does. And it can help our mind in a lot of ways. Including changing your behavior.

For the next point, I'll use an example she uses in the program because a lot of people can identify with it (or at least a lot of Americans can, since a huge percentage of Americans are overweight). If this isn't a problem for you, then substitute some sort of behavior you want to change.
You want to eat less so that you can lose some weight. And one evening you get really driven about this and think "OKAY! I will eat less and exercise more, and soon enough I will look fabulous!"
And then before you know it, you just ate a really big meal, or a bunch of junk food and you haven't taken more than 20 steps all day.
In response to this, people will often mentally beat themselves up and criticize themselves. But self criticism will actually only lock us further in our habits. She compares this to prison. How successful is the punishment of prison in stopping criminals from misbehaving? Often not very.
What will actually help us is to be self-compassionate. This does not mean that we say "oh, it wasn't my fault that I ate all that food," or "I blame him! He's the one that made me eat all that!" That won't get you anywhere either. But you need to be understanding with yourself, as you might be with a friend who came to you with a problem. The thing is, it's pretty easy for us to be compassionate with a friend who has a problem. But many people have a real problem with being compassionate with themselves. What she suggests is to pretend like you're talking to yourself as a separate person.

Now on to habits. Our brain forms habits so that it doesn't have to use as much energy in making decisions. And for the most part, habits can be very helpful (like when you're driving home and you don't really need to think about the route you're taking). But, of course, there are some habits that we want to get rid of. Unfortunately, the brain doesn't really get rid of habits. But that doesn't mean that you can't keep them stored away without using them.
To the food example. You've decided you want to lose weight. You're at home, doing homework or working on a project, or watching TV. Then somehow you're standing in the kitchen, pulling food out of the fridge. How the heck did you get there? You didn't intend to get food. It just happened. This is a habit. You don't think about it. You just do it.
The first thing to do is to catch yourself in the process of this habit. At first, just pay attention as you go into the kitchen. Pay attention to what is going on with you as you follow this habit. And from there, you can take further steps to stop the action when you feel it coming.
When you're stressed, you're much more likely to fall back on your unwanted habits. Even if you thought you were rid of them.

Okay. I'll report in again once I've listened to the rest of the program.