The Stages of Homesickness

Our internet’s been out. Hopefully we’ll get it fixed next week.
I’ll type this out now, and post it next time I can access the blog.

I guess it’s been about 3 weeks since I started? Still a long ways to go.

I’ve been away from home for longer than this. I was in Europe for a month, and I didn’t get homesick then. But I have never lived away from home. And I’ve never been faced with the prospect of being away from home for three months.

The first few days were hard. There’s so much to learn, and my legs weren’t used to so much saddle time. And I wasn’t expecting the hours to be so long.
Hopefully we’re going to get in a couple new people soon, because we need the help.

The first few days left me really homesick. Mostly because of learning new work, and the thought of being away for so long. I miss everyone, especially my cat.
I started to get adjusted to the work and the schedule, and began to feel better.

Then came last Sunday, which was a pretty awful day. A whole bunch of unrelated things came together to make for a bad time.
But I did get to go home on Sunday night. The drive was 5 ½ hours, and I got lost on part of it. I rather hate cars and driving, and I started to panic until I finally found the turn I needed. It was another nasty part to a nasty day.
Then I got home that night and I got to see my cat. She was so happy to see me, and so nice to snuggle with. And I got to spend a day and a half with my family that’s visiting (they’re the reason I came home. I wish I could have spent more time with them.)

When it came time to head back to my summer house, I could barely drag myself out to my car. I didn’t want to leave my safe place and drive six hours to a place where I just had a really bad day.
I didn’t want to leave my cat for another month, since that’s probably when my next home visit will be.

But I did make it back.
And I’m starting to settle into work again. Even though my legs are still chafed to hell.
I’m pretty lonely. The people I work with are nice, but we really don’t have anything in common. And without the internet, it’s difficult for me to email people, and I can’t use Skype to talk to Mom and Dad. And with no cell service I can’t call my parents either.
They’re supposed to visit in a little over a week, and some other people want to come visit over the summer. So hopefully that will help with the loneliness.

Basically I’ve been learning lots of big lessons about non-attachment. To my home, to my usual way of life, to food (the produce here sucks, the variety is low, and the prices are stupid). And to people, though that’s not so much about being away.

I keep telling myself that the stuff I’m going through is really mild compared to most problems. But that doesn’t’ necessarily make it easier to get through XD