Kitchen Table Wisdom

I just read a really good book called "Kitchen Table Wisdom." It's a doctor writing about the lessons she's learned from her patients.
There were a few points that I thought would be fun to discuss a little.

Love vs acceptance
So, you'll sometimes run across people that are trying to earn the love of someone else. Like people trying to prove themselves to an overly critical parent.

The only thing you earn this way is acceptance, not love. You can't earn love, because love is unconditional. Some people get the two mixed up. Love is so much more than acceptance.

There's also a difference between attachment and commitment. Attachment is superficial. It's habit, fear of change, or sometimes even greed. If you're attached to someone, it's not a deep connection. But if you're committed to someone, that is a deep bond.

Sometimes you get stuck in a job that you're not thrilled with. But while you're there, you might as well do what you can with it. Find meaning in what you're doing. You can learn something even from crazy jobs. Though sometimes you might not know what you learned until after you've moved past them.
This also helps you feel more comfortable where you are, until you can move on.

(Shining shoes)

Tell your stories. People are made of their stories. Share them. And listen to people that want to share them. You don't have to interrupt with your own stories. Sometimes all you need is someone to listen. So you know someone cares.
You can learn so much from listening to others. Elders especially are filled with stories and wisdom.

Help people. It's easy to ignore the problems everywhere. At the very least, start by holding doors open for people who could use an extra hand.
But really, wouldn't you want someone to help you if you needed it? Be that person for others.

Don't treat people like strangers. Treat them like friends!



There's some weird belief that doctors can't show emotions to their patients. Not only can this make them seem cold and distant, but it's horrible for the doctor's mental health. People have to release their emotions sometimes. Especially when they're dealing with so many illnesses and deaths.
And doctors have to show compassion to their patients. If they treat patients like robots, it's not good for the patient either. When people are recovering from something tricky, they need all the help they can get. Not only with physical aspects. But they need the love and courage to go on emotionally.
Doctors have the expertise, but they also need the compassion.
If a doctor believes in you, that can have an amazing ability to help someone recover.

We need to let doctors stay emotionally healthy. It's too easy for them to break down. Our society is kind of terrible to doctors. They have to work crazy hours at a very difficult job. It can wear them out physically and emotionally. We trust our lives to doctors, and yet the system keeps them in bad shape. They're making these important people have a hard time making important decisions and diagnoses.


And remember, with every ending, there is a beginning. You can't have one without the other because they cause each other. When you're facing a tough end, remember a new beginning has started somewhere.
It may be hard to see it at first, but it will make itself known eventually.